Somehow, the YouTube algorithm recommended this video from Austin Augie. I took the bait and watched a few of his videos of India. I am from India so I am interested in people’s experience of India. However, I am not interested in seeing the filthy parts of India, I skip over those for some reason. I don’t know why!
Anyway, the videos are great and the guy seems authentic. YouTube realized I like such stuff so it sent another video called Travel the world, ask strangers the wildest questions, it will change your life. Another bait and another surrender! I didn’t know what to expect but I always want to change my life. Who doesn’t, right?
In the video, the YouTuber asks a profound question “What is the meaning of life?”. I mean, isn’t it as cheesy as it gets? It does but here I am inspired by it, I think? Actually, it’s one of the answers in the video, a woman says the meaning of life is to find your own happiness. There it is! It’s something I believe in. It’s something I struggle with. Most of my thoughts are around it.
I have wanted so many material things throughout my life and I still do. I have chased and still chasing money, career success, power and fame, however something happened 8 months ago. I took another job in SF and that meant uprooting my life again and leaving NYC, a city I truly love. It took me 6 months after that to pack my bags and move, and that too was with a heavy heart. I didn’t want to leave NYC. I still wish I didn’t move.
But in the last 8 months when I was debating the cities, I had to go deeper. I had to figure out why I was at the crossroads. I had to understand, how did it come to this? I had to acknowledge the real reason why I put myself in a situation to choose? So, I thought about it long and hard, and came to the conclusion that I deeply care about money and career. I couldn’t fathom the thought of being an L6 at a big tech 10 years from now. The second or rather 1.5 thing was dating, it wasn’t working in nyc so I thought it might be better in SF as there are more Indian people.
Anyway, there have been a lot of words with no substance yet so let’s cut to the chase. I thought about the purpose of it all, like why work everyday and be a cog in a machine for money when all I care about is living a simple life. I buy $5 shirts from Target and have so little stuff that I can stuff everything in one bag. That opened my mind a bit and I realized that money isn’t something, I care about that much. What I really, genuinely care about is helping people. I know this sounds naive and corny but it’s the truth. I think the meaning of my life is to help people. I truly get happiness from it.
This changed the entire narrative for me. I still think what’s the point of leaving NYC when that’s where I am truly happy. But our robot overlord, Gemini, said that I am seeing SF as a tool to get to the things I care about. Honestly, that’s ingenuity, I could have never thought about it this way. I think this year has been truly unremarkable. I can’t think of anything worthy that I did this year. I took some trips, met some people, went on some dates but that is it. Maybe, I can consider this epiphany as something consequential. This year I got out of the rat race I was on for the last 15 years. I figured out that I can’t go running after money while my life slips away.
What’s the point of life, if you’re not happy?