I haven’t had a problem making decisions until now. I had always been at ease with them because I had a strong compass. The compass always pointed to career and financial success. I evaluated all my choices on the objective questions
- Is it good for my career?
- Will it help me move up the ladder?
- Will it help me financially?
Focussing on just one dimension is a bad way to make decisions. But the need for that one dimension was so strong that I think it was the right move back then. Things look much different now as I have climbed up the ladder far enough. So the question becomes, how should you make decisions? What dimensions should you prioritize?
Actually, let’s elaborate on what the dimensions mean. The overarching goal of life should be happiness (I think most people would agree to that). That’s what everybody is striving for or at least should strive for. Research from Harvard says that the most important indicator of happiness is relationships with friends, family and partner. We kinda know this but we don’t prioritize it. So, happiness is the goal and relationships are the most important component, so should decisions only optimize relationships? Not quite, I think it’s the most important but it’s not the only thing.
I think it’s important to find the major factors that contribute to your happiness and optimize for it. Everything else is secondary. It requires a lot of introspection and looking at patterns to know what things you have been gravitating towards. It’s equally important to understand the difference between liking something vs liking the idea of something.
So what does this mean in practice? I’d say for me, happiness is comprised of a few things
- Relationships (of course)
- Purpose driven work
- Access to the outdoors
It’s easy to see why relationships matter. Things are fun when you’re with the people you like. But let me share how I figured out what other things matter to me the most. Work has always been a constant. I have been ambitious and career driven from the start but it took some introspection to understand the origin of the drive. I consider work as an essential part of my life. It pays the bills but to me, it’s much more than that. I’d frame as, I have got one life and I want to do things that make a difference. Work is my way of influencing change.
The last one is easy for me. I have always been active. I played a lot of sports as a kid and enjoy activities where I get to channel my inner child. Access to nature enables me to engage in activities that bring me joy. In the end, this is the new set of questions that I ask before making decisions.
- Does it improve my relationships and help me make better relationships?
- Does it help me get closer to purpose driven work for the long haul?
- Does it help me get closer to the outdoors or things that bring me joy?
Not every decision warrants this kind of evaluation but it’s important to bring out the big guns for the big life changing decisions.