Cities shape us in profound ways, often more than we realize. I am sure you have heard of the quote that you’re the average of 5 people around you. I can’t say how true that is but I can say that the basic idea makes sense. We are influenced by our surroundings, both consciously and unconsciously.

Cities, however, are more than just collections of people. Each city has its own culture and an implicit message, and whether we like it or not we’re influenced by it to a degree. These messages can be obvious or nuanced, and while you might have some preconceptions, truly understanding a city’s essence requires living there.

I have had the opportunity to live in multiple cities. More recently, I have lived in NYC and Seattle. Each has a very different message and each enabled me to explore different aspects of me. I discovered things about me that have changed my outlook towards life. Let’s talk about it.

Seattle

I moved to Seattle in 2018 and lived there for 4 years. I moved there for a job without ever visiting the place, in-line with how I have moved most of my life, sight unseen. I knew no one in the city but gradually, I made some friends. In the first few weeks, I noticed that most social conversation with friends and at work had a common thread: the outdoors. It’s no surprise to anyone that folks in Seattle live and breathe the outdoors but back then, I was completely unaware of it.

I remember Hiking, in particular, was omnipresent in every conversation. I had almost no hiking experience but the constant mentions piqued my interest. I vividly remember my first hike in Seattle, the old mailbox trail. (The WTA page for the trail is as delightful as the trail. I encourage you, the reader, to take a gander.) It was unexpectedly challenging and, at moments, frightening. I remember being terrified at the top as the weather worsened and fatigue set in. I safely made it back and in hindsight, the fear was somewhat overblown. I later found out that it is one of the most challenging trails in the area. 

This experience, however daunting, made me realize that I like the outdoors. I started hiking regularly and looked for opportunities to up the challenge. I learned to ski and tried trail running. I had a fun time but more importantly, I discovered that I really like challenging myself and that I can be methodical to achieve it. 

It made me take on greater challenges like summiting Mount Rainier. That took some years to build the courage to sign up but it happened. I am grateful to Seattle for giving me the confidence to climb a mountain. This confidence is transferable and I have been making good use of it in all aspects of life.

I would say Seattle’s message is: explore the outdoors, challenge yourself, and live in harmony with nature. I’ve internalized this ethos and continue to pursue these interests.

NYC

People often say that NYC is all about money, but that’s an oversimplification. I can say that’s true but the message is so much more than just money. NYC also says, dress well, be fit, be busy, do more. I don’t think anyone can talk about the full picture because we can only see the sliver we experience.

The message I hear in the city is that one should always be out there exploring their interests. There’s a big emphasis on being busy. Everyone is busy doing things. Most people I meet have personal calendars that are packed with events, social engagements etc. Before moving here, I never used a personal calendar for social activities.

A positive about such an attitude is you’re pushing yourself to do more. You meet friends more frequently, you try out more things as there’s an event for anything you might be interested in. In other cities, I would meet people on weekends, in NYC, I don’t have to wait for the weekend. Weekdays are perfectly good days to go out. This energy aligns well with my personality; the more I do, the more I can do. This spark has transformed my life in numerous ways.

I now put in more energy and take actions. It’s pushed me to go after the hard things and make it happen. Some real examples would be

  • me taking cold showers for the last 2 years. I find cold showers fascinating but was always scared of it.
  • learning Spanish through Duolingo. I have tried and failed at Duolingo for years but now, I have a 600 day streak. I don’t think I am learning Spanish but it’s definitely a lesson on consistency.
  • started learning the guitar. It’s been a few months and this is farthest I have come in the journey.
  • worked on side projects and found a job that I was interested in.

The culture also heavily emphasizes:

  • being social
  • staying fit and more importantly, being a runner
  • appreciating the arts
  • but the loudest of all, do more

While the do more mentality isn’t always ideal as it can detract from focus, I’ve interpreted it as doing more of what I want to do. It eliminates excuses about lack of time to live the life I desire. Instead of seeing time constraints, I now see possibilities.

The messages of Seattle and NYC have profoundly influenced my personal growth. Seattle taught me to embrace nature and challenge myself physically, while NYC has pushed me to expand my horizons and seize every opportunity. The experiences have shaped my outlook, encouraging me to live more fully and purposefully.